Don't tell him he seems like a nice enough guy. Being nice enough isn't the problem. Just tell him the bad things about himself. That way, he can hide them better next time.

"I don't want to cuddle you, or kiss you, because I've never even met you. Your unrealistic picture of our relationship can only lead to further delusions of intimacy that I am unwilling to deal with in the future. Begone!"

Or something like that. I suppose you're far too nice to say anything like that. I know I wouldn't say that. But it was fun to come up with the worst possible thing to hear from anyone in an internet dating relationship... So, take that, soften it, and maybe you have something usable in real life.

By the way, glad you didn't hurt yourself on the stairs. If you had, you might have been asking him questions like, "Would you still love me even if I was in a wheelchair?" And that would just suck.

Ouch on the ankle. Isn't that the worst moment when you realize that isn't the ground - oh my crap. I twisted my ankle over two years ago and it's still swollen. Ugh. Can I be the princess of klutz people? I don't care who my subjects are as long as I get to be a princess.

Admit you don't like the internet guy cause Tex said he looked like a douchebag. Just tell him I'm not that into you. Be brutal. If you try to be nice, he will end up sending you flowers daily and stalking you.

If you use the word douchebag, definitely want to hear about it, and will be very proud!

I don't know, I kind of like this. Especially the "unrealistic picture of our relationship can only lead to further delusions of intimacy" part. That's just plain impressive.



That depends... I need to hear a few more accident stories before I can make my decision. However, if you've got the right tales, I think something can be arranged.



"Hey Bobo. Sorry, but I don't feel like talking to you anymore because several people on my blog site said you look like a sleazy, creepy douchebag. After considering what they said, I decided they are right. You give me the creeps. I don't want to cuddle you, or kiss you, because I've never even met you. Your unrealistic picture of our relationship can only lead to further delusions of intimacy that I am unwilling to deal with in the future. Begone!"

I think this will work out nicely... don't you?

No, my problem is that I don't think I could be that mean. In fact, I feel bad because I know he really likes me, and I have been encouraging him somewhat -- though not to the extent that he's gone. I've tried to tell him to slow it down a few times, you know, wait until we've met, but he always comes back with "I'm not worried about meeting you." type thing. He seems to think that I'm saying that I'm worried he won't like me if we meet. He doesn't realize that I might not like him, or, if he does, he isn't letting on. I have to figure out how to do this, do it right so I don't feel bad.

Maybe I'll just avoid him and never answer his calls, emails, or texts until he gets the hint... kidding, kidding. Even I'm not that evil.

I say be as evil as you want. Do you really think he likes you as much as he says? Or is he so desperate for any relationship? How many other women has he flipped over this year? I'm sure no matter what way you break it to him he has heard it before. Before you know it he will be on to a new desire.

You seem nice and there's nothing wrong with letting him down easy. But the person you need to worry about the most is yourself and from what you have said about him so far is creepy. You know him the best so I will get rid of him anyway you see fit - evil or not.

Good luck and beware of stairs.

Good thing you're kidding, or you'd probably end up with a stalker on your hands. My second thought was to say, "I went to your place to meet you and your wife answered the door, you douchebag!" But that would probably translate to him trying to contact you to tell you it's all a misunderstanding. Bonus points for using this if he hasn't given you his address, just add "I tracked you down and went to your place..." etc. That might work, actually.

Or, you could go the Barney route. Send him an email with "Dumped" in it. Nothing else.

I'm trying to think of a not-mean way to break up with someone. I do not have that talent, or it is impossible. "Be prepared for the boy to feel hurt and rejected. Even if you've only gone together for a short time, and haven't been too serious, there's still a feeling of rejection when someone says she prefers the company of others to your exclusive company."

Ah, Nada Surf, your wise words will live on forever.

So no matter what you say, there will be hurt and rejection. Very sad. But, name-calling need not enter into it. You can keep the 'Begone!' because I think it fits your Queen image.

Kick to curb.

Advice over.

Good advice.

Guys all want the girls with the big ... video game collection. See, you always have to be wondering... is he going to up-up-down-down-left-right-left-right-B-A-Start on me?

Sorry, couldn't resist.

Ah, Contra.

Now, that's an obscure reference, Jythier. But I'm pretty sure it was up-down-up-down-left-right-left-right-B-A-B-A-select-start.

Penny Arcade reference. Voted Best Code EVER.

Oh man, the nerds just took over my thread.

You guys make me happy.

That's before my time.

The one I put in was the first ever code cracked on a home system, the cheat for 100 lives in the (impossible) game Contra on the original NES.

Man, I hated that game. I couldn't even make it past level 8 with my stupid 100 lives.

Maybe AFTER your time?

Link

"A powerful code tells a game to shape up - the boss is in town."

I sucked at Contra, but I never actually owned an NES.


I was going for making you happy, by the way. Glad it worked! Hope you know I'm just kidding about all that great advice I gave you. Well, the mean parts. Except, I do want to know what you really say.

Are you the Edwina?  If so, maybe you should hook up with the guy.  One date, and you will know whether he is for real or a player!