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Published on June 24, 2007 By Sugar High Elf In Life Journals
So, it's 5:10 a.m. and I haven't slept yet. I've been in bed, waiting for sleep, but sleep never came. I suppose part of me is still waiting, but the rest of me realizes that the wait is futile. Looks like it's another sleepless night.

Only, for once, this sleepless night has not been seen alone. Turns out, John can't sleep either. I turned my computer on around 3-something this morning, only to find him still online. We had said goodnight almost two hours earlier, yet here we were... both still awake and wallowing in our loneliness. So now, we're both alone and lonely, but we're somewhat together in it. How strange. But, it almost makes the night pass a bit easier.

I'm also awake because I've decided to put a stop to things with the latest online guy. The more I think about it, the less I feel like this guy could be someone I could spend more than 24 hours with. He called me 4 times and sent me two text messages. See, I usually call someone and then wait for them to call me back. I don't keep calling... and I don't want a guy who does either. It just seems overly protective and possessive for his having known me for such a short time. I don't think I'm the girl he thinks I am, and I don't want to be the girl I think he wants. It's just not my style, and I change for no man.

I've decided to leave the online dating world again. I got tired of the winks from guys who obviously don't care enough to read my profile and see that I don't want smokers or guys over the age of 30. Or the guys who care enough to send me messages... but not enough to read the profile to see that I'm not paying for this service, so I can't read the messages anyway. I just don't feel comfortable with meeting people this way. There's too much concern on my part -- that they won't like what they see when they meet me, or that I won't like what I see. Besides, I like to read body language when I meet people and I can't do that over the phone. There's just too much a person can hide over the phone, and I'd rather not go through that again.

I wonder if my past experience is making me overly cautious, or if I'm just more realistic these days. I just can't seem to trust the guy over the phone because I have no way of knowing if that's who is truly is. It's also easier for me to act a part when my face can't be seen, and I don't want to do that. It isn't fair to anyone.

He was a nice enough guy, but not the guy for me. But I'm sad knowing that, once again, cupid's arrows were not meant for me.

Comments (Page 1)
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on Jun 24, 2007
Maybe you should focus on school and John. I mean building your friendship with him. He sounds like a nice guy...and sometimes its nice to have a guy b/f...you get most of the perks without the drama.

When I first met my husband, I wasn't interested. He was cute, sure, but I was dating and he was engaged..so we developed a friendship. After awhile it became more...obviously.

John has to know guys. Why doesn't he invite a bunch to go out one night and you and some gal pals tag along? I imagine there is an over abundance of single guys on campus...haha.

on Jun 24, 2007
You should be careful with john. Housemate relationships can end really badly. If you do decide to date, kick him out and get someone new in. He can always move back in a few months later if you get on well.
on Jun 24, 2007
LW: Yeah, I know, that would be the smart thing to do, but I just don't think I want to keep trying the online thing right now. If I ever go back, I'll get one.

Tova7: You're right, and that's kinda what I was thinking. I'm in a new town, and I should really focus on meeting new people here and not importing them from several hours away. Plus, if I'm so worried about getting home to talk to this guy because that's the only way I get to be with him between visits, then I won't be making friends or strengthening friendships.

Cacto: I think you've got the wrong idea, mate. John is a neighbor -- he lives across the street from me. And, I don't think we would ever, ever date. Friends, yes... but beyond that, no.
on Jun 24, 2007
That was quite a short stint with the online dating. I'm glad you figured out it's not for you. It's awesome to have a friend across the street, too. Especially one with a super fast computer.
on Jun 24, 2007
Is he gay?


Actually, he's bisexual... so yes and no.

That was quite a short stint with the online dating.


I just didn't see anyone on there who meets my short list of requirements... you know, taller than me, doesn't smoke, 23-30, has a job, and has the other half of this golden amulet... (Thank you Maria Bamford)
on Jun 24, 2007
That's a pretty reasonable short-list, all things considered. I think most guys 23-30 do not frequent online dating sites for anything but one thing. Marriage.

You will do fine out in the real world, if you can tear yourself away from Fable!
on Jun 24, 2007
Ok, I should add "no creeps, murderers, rapists, drug addicts, alcoholics, or guys who list 'brainiacs and sarcasm' as a turn offs" And yes, I have been winked at by guys who have brainiacs and sarcasm listed as turn offs. Seriously, did these guys even read my profile?!? Sheesh

John just finished Fable last night... so maybe I'll get to play more now. Or not, he just started a new one, plus he's in the middle of Oblivion. *sigh* I need a better computer...
on Jun 24, 2007
Get an X-Box. I'll send you my Fable, I beat it already, and I probably won't play it again. Especially if I sold it to you. Very unlikely I would at that point.
on Jun 24, 2007
I think you've got the wrong idea, mate. John is a neighbor -- he lives across the street from me. And, I don't think we would ever, ever date. Friends, yes... but beyond that, no.


Never say never, especially at college. What are friends for if not to help you through the quiet times?

If you find him at all attractive then I wouldn't be so quick to scratch him off the list. At least see how he responds when you break up with your next partner.
on Jun 24, 2007
In college, her next partner may very well break up with her to be WITH John.

Man, I so do not miss college.
on Jun 24, 2007
If you find him at all attractive then I wouldn't be so quick to scratch him off the list. At least see how he responds when you break up with your next partner.


It's not so much that I don't find him attractive -- but he's not my type, and I am not his. We make good friends, but I think we'd kill each other if we tried to date.

And, he's not in college anymore, and I'm in grad school, so I really hope the rules have changed by now. College wasn't as bad as high school, but I really hope "adult life" is better than college. At least, I'm ready for some new games...


In college, her next partner may very well break up with her to be WITH John.


Given his persuasion and attractiveness, that could very well be.
on Jun 24, 2007
Adult life isn't BETTER than college, just different. College has it's own thrills. Grad school is not much of a bump up. When you get a career going, there's when you're going to be thrown to the wolves.

Don't worry, though, you'll be fine. Just remember - nobody alive ever died.
on Jun 25, 2007
Ok, I should add "no creeps, murderers, rapists, drug addicts, alcoholics, or guys who list 'brainiacs and sarcasm' as a turn offs"


OMG, they actually LIST braniacs and sarcasm as turnoffs? You mean I wasn't off base when I made my comment about guys who weren't intimidated by strong intelligent women? Good frickin grief, man, these dudes are losers and you're better off without them!

Somewhere, there's a guy out there for you, SHE. Only he doesn't know it because he's busy hunting down the proper accessories for his costume for the new HP movie...lol!
on Jun 25, 2007

It's not so much that I don't find him attractive -- but he's not my type, and I am not his. We make good friends, but I think we'd kill each other if we tried to date.


I gotta admit, I was holding up the "go John" banner myself. But you know best, and, well, like Tova said, it's pretty good to have a guy best friend.

Now I'll have to scratch out the name on this damn banner till you find someone else...lol!
on Jun 25, 2007
I thought I read somewhere that SHE wasn't looking for a guy at the moment... but then I read she got into online dating, but only for the weekend it seems. Maybe I was reading about someone else.
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