Since my breakup with the guy I thought I would end up married to, I've been making sure that I am ok. I wanted to make sure that I knew who I was and that I had my life straight before jumping back into a relationship. There's also the small matter of being older than everyone around me. (I'm a fifth year senior and there are few of us)
Recently, however, I have felt "ready" to get back in the game. I told my friends to be on the lookout for single guys that I might be compatible with. They've introduced me to some guys. There was one that I liked, but he was so shy, we barely talked.
I also wanted to look for myself. The only problem is, I don't know where to look! I don't want to go to bars to pick up guys -- that's just not my scene. The guys at school are too young, or gay. So where am I to look?
Yeah, you guessed it. I went online. I tried e-harmony first. I didn't meet the "love of my life" but I did meet this one guy in Little Rock and we are... well not friends... but we Facebook each other occasionally. Turns out we have mutual friends. But still, no love.
Then I went to Match.com. There's more freedom on Match. People can "wink" at each other to show interest -- even if they aren't paying customers. You can also see pictures and profiles of potential matches without paying.
And that's just what happened. I had a few winks, but these guys did not match me. I'm 22, and I had a 43-year-old divorced man with two kids wink at me. I didn't match him either... but I guess he thought I was cute or something. Then, I got a wink from someone that did match me. He's a teacher (history though an English minor), he loves Star Wars, Star Trek, LotR, Clerks, the Beatles and many other things that I love. He describes himself as a cineophile while I am an admitted bibliophile.
Unfortunately, we could wink at each other, but since I do not pay for the service, we could not talk to each other. I really liked his profile and tried to think of ways we could find each other. I tried to slip my e-mail address into my profile, but it was caught and my profile was not approved. My friend suggested starting a xanga account and mentioning it. I finally took her advice and mentioned in my "for fun" section that "I just started a xanga (same screen name) and it is fun."
I could not be sure if he would find this hint. I couldn't even be sure if he would ever look at my profile again.
He found it. I received a message from him yesterday. He created a quick xanga profile just so he could contact me. I emailed him back, then he me, and then I him again. Our interests are eerily similar. I can't stop smiling.
But that leads to the following: Is internet dating safe? Is it safe to meet people online and then meet them in person? I know my parents are not going to be thrilled when I tell them. (which I will only do if I actually start dating this guy)
I have a friend engaged to a man she met online. They dated for two years, he popped the question, and they'll be getting married in a year or so. My uncle recently married a woman he met online. And then, there's the excellent point my friend made, "Is it any safer to meet a guy in a bar and start dating him? It's just as random and he's just as much a stranger." She had a point.
I know I need to be careful when and if I meet this guy. My friend has already offered to "tag along" so to speak. I can see it now: this guy and I go to a restaraunt to meet and three of my good friends are at a nearby table not-so-secretly observing us and preparing themselves to defend me if this guy turns out to be creepy.
Ah well. Nothing ventured, nothing gained... right?