because I said I was going to write it
I think of myself as a pretty typical female. I do girlie things. I wear makeup, I get my hair fixed, and I watch chick flicks (but only sometimes) I seem, however, to have fallen into another female trap. I don't like calling guys. I want the boy to make the first move. It is very unfair of me, but hey... I'm not the only one. (yes, I realize that this is a weak justification, but it's my blog. I'll do what I want)
As I have written before, I'm looking for love from an online dating site. I have recently come into contact with a very nice guy. He is a nerd -- which is perfect since I am a nerd. We like all of the same nerdy things: Star Wars, Star Trek, Lord of the Rings, and while the list goes on, I don't want to scare anyone. We also like the same non-nerdy things.
We were e-mailing for a while. It was great. He was so funny that I was laughing out loud at what he had written. I hope he felt the same way about my e-mails. We were writing an average of four pages a day, when he sent me his phone number. "No pressure, or anything. I just thought we might prevent carpal tunnel syndrome."
"Why not?" I thought. I've enjoyed our emails, why not see if there's a connection on the phone? So I called him the next day. He didn't answer. I was disapointed, but not upset or anything. He called me back a few hours later. He said he had to work late, had just gotten home and saw my call. We didn't get to talk for very long because I had to go to a staff meeting. However, it was a wonderful 35 minutes. He said he would call me tonight, and I said I looked forward to it.
So, my job is over, right? I don't have to initiate the next call, right? He's going to call me and be the boy and make the next move. I understand why I had to call him first. It's safer that way. But we've moved beyond that, and he has my number now, so he's going to call me, right.
Wrong. I waited. No call. I finished my paper on a Russian Formalist reading of Shakespeare's King Lear and still no call. I studied my German. Still no call. I chatted to my friends. Still no call.
"Call him." my friend said.
But won't that make me look desperate? Won't that make me look like a stalker? Won't that make me look needy?
"No." she said, "It will make you look interested. Just call and say hi."
Can't do it. He said he would call me so I'm going to let him call me besides I am the girl and he is the boy and he is supposed to call me I am not supposed to call him.
"Don't be silly. Just call him."
Yeah. Right. Like it's that easy. Just pick up the phone, dial, and speak. Sure. Whatever. You're crazy.
I could keep this up, but you get the point. I was too afraid to call him, because that's "not what girls do". I put this in quotes because it is "stupid". What's so wrong with calling a guy, asking him out, asking for his number? NOTHING!
Yet here I sat, a female of the 21st century, unable to pick up a phone and call a guy I like.
The good news is, I overcame my fears and called him. He didn't answer. This time I thought he was avoiding me. About five minutes later, he called me back. He said he had fallen asleep grading papers. He felt terrible about not calling me. He was glad I called.
If he was glad I called, surely other guys would be glad if other girls would call them. So why is it so difficult (sometimes) for a female to pick up the phone?
*note: I realize that not all girls are big chickens like myself. However, within my limited scope of female here in the South, girls do not feel "right" calling a guy. It isn't done. Sad, ain't it?