I know I cannot be the only person to have heard the phrase, "It's not what you said, it's how you said it" when I was a teenager. Come on, admit it. You heard it too.
Problem is, I'm getting that from online communication now. My online "tone" has been heard to be short and/or rude. And now? I'm annoyed.
(This is not something, btw, that I've had problems with here on JU)
I work for Housing at my university. People in the CSPA program work above me. These people are graduate students who range from 0 to 5 years older than myself. One graduate student in particular is my boss, my RC in my dorm complex. I love her to death. She's been the best boss I've ever had. And I was lucky I had her too.
There is another graduate student who, while he is in the CSPA program, does not work for Housing and therefore, *not* my boss. He is a specialty graduate student for the Honors College. I am a member of the Honors College, and am an RA in the Honors Hall Complex. (I hope you can see how he relates to me)
Unfortunately for me, this jerk wad has taken it into his mind to dislike me. To be fair, I have disliked him for years, but I try not to let it show. I finally had to let him know that I didn't appreciate him attacking a few of my residents online where everyone could see it and thus cause a major controversy in my halls. I told him I thought he should have handled the situation in a different, more private manner.
During this, I also needed to check a projector out from him. My favorite professor was doing a lecture on "The Top 10 Horror Films of All Time" for our Halloween party. (She's a film critic, and I was lucky to get her to do this.) Unfortunately, jerk wad is in charge of the technical equipment. I sent him the following private message over the Honors Forum he created (and which most of us despise)
"Donna and/or Noel are going to need the projector and screen set up in the Hall lobby on Sunday, October 29 by 3:00 pm for their presentation of the top ## horror movies of all time. The projector will then be needed to show some of those movies into the night -- probably until midnight, though possibly earlier."
Short. Sweet. To the point. Apparently, it was also rude and antagonistic.
Apparently, I should have *asked* for the projector, though I thought I had already asked for it in a previous message, and I was now telling him when I would need it. It is also phrased this way because he seemed to have made it clear before that I was too dumb to figure the projector out, and that he would be there on Saturday to do it.
Instead of talking to me about it, or even talking to my boss about it, he went to my boss' boss and to his boss. The Area Coordinator, his boss, my boss and he had to have a meeting about me. He tried to have me punished. My boss told him that he was overstepping his bounds and that she was my boss, not him. (smirk) My boss and her boss then told him off for trying to boss other RA's around at different times.
Since that time, he has still not issued me a code to get into the room where the spare keys and fire panel are kept. I *have* to be able to get into this room. If I can't get in, then when residents are locked out, they have to stay out because I can't get to their keys. I've turned in the form 6 times in the last four months. Still no code.
This was all a long, drawn out way to bring up the point that tone does not carry over well in type. Something you may think is funny, witty, or down-right hilarious may come across as rude, bitch or obnoxious... all because your voice doesn't go along with it. Jokes may sound serious.
That's all. Sermon over. (the rant about the jerk wad is over as well)