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now all I want to do is cry
Published on March 11, 2007 By Sugar High Elf In Life Journals
As you may have read, I got my acceptance letter into graduate school on Friday. That was one of the happiest moments in my life. I squealed, I jumped, I did a happy dance in the middle of Old Navy.

Tonight, however, is a slightly different story.

It hit me first when I was talking to my dad about taking a trip to Tennessee's campus. We were trying to figure out if my parents would take the day off, or if I would. Then, dad said, "Well, maybe two days. It is a, what, 8, 9 hour trip?" Wow. I hadn't thought about that. This school is about 9 hours away from my parent's house. I love my parents dearly. I like seeing them fairly often. It finally dawned on me that I would be too far away for weekend visits whenever I feel like it. I also realized that I'll have an actual apartment that I won't have to move out of... this means a new home. I haven't lived with my parents for more than a month in the last five years, but suddenly it hit me that I was actually an adult. Kinda scary, a little intimidating, but nothing I can't handle.

Then, I looked at UT's website. I wanted to see if they had their graduate reading list on their website. While looking around, I stumbled upon their degree requirements. It's a very hard program, that's why I choose it. However, I'm a bit afraid. I worry that I won't be able to cut it. This isn't anything new. Anyone going into these kinds of programs has certain fears about their adequacy.

All of this I could have handled. The problem is, I don't really have anyone I can talk to about these fears. My parents are, I'm sure, just as excited and worried as I am. I don't want them to know I have this many doubts. I don't want to worry them.

I can't call my best friend in Florida about this because she hasn't gotten into med. school yet. She's on the wait list, and I wasn't even sure if I wanted to call her at all with my news. I called, and she was happy for me. However, I feel it would be cruel to call her and lay all my worries on her, when I know she's even more worried about her future.

My other friends just wouldn't understand. They're also the kind of people that tend to turn a conversation to themselves. We all do it from time to time, and they also have big things they are worried about. I just couldn't go through another conversation where I started talking about what was freaking me out just to have it turn to them, and me feeling like I have to be the big sister/counselor for them. I don't mind this role usually, but I need to talk right now, not listen.

I didn't start crying until I thought about my ex. I realized that of all the people I know, he's the one I want to call the most. I wanted to call him when I found out, and I really wanted to call him tonight. He was there when I changed my major to English all those years back. He was there when I dropped the education degree and went for a plain BA which meant I had to go to graduate school. He was there as I chose my schools. He was there when I freaked out over applications. And he's not there anymore.

He was supposed to be a part of these plans. He was my best friend... the person I told everything to. He was the first person I called with good and bad news. He was the one I turned to. He was the one I wanted to celebrate with, and the shoulder I cried on. He understood me, and he was a good listener.

It isn't him that I miss so much, as having that kind of person in my life. I don't have anyone that I feel like I can turn to no matter what. I don't have a person to celebrate or cry with. I don't feel like I have a best friend anymore. One of my best friends moved to Florida, and the other broke my heart. I feel so alone now. Scared and alone.

On top of all that, my romantic life sucks right now. I'm finally going to meet the really great guy I met online, and now I find I'm moving out of state this summer. I actually like this guy. We have wonderful talks, loads of stuff in common. I've never met another human being that could match me dork point for dork point that wasn't an absolute freak. He is the most normal geek I've ever met. He has a great sense of humor... we laugh all the time. He's smart and cute on top of all that. Why couldn't I have met him a year ago? Why couldn't I have dated him instead of the jerk who left me to pick up the pieces of my broken heart. (poetic, huh?) I have this intense desire to hunt cupid down and shoot him with something other than love arrows.

I feel better now. The hysteria is over. I'm sure it's just a combination of a stressful week finally being over, a lack of sleep, getting over an illness and shock. I know I'll feel better in the morning. I know I'll talk to friends and family about my concerns once I'm calmer (that way I don't freak them out).

Writing is such good therapy.

Comments
on Mar 11, 2007
I understand your feelings and it is actually pretty normal for you to feel the way you do. I can imagiine that your folks will feel the same way too but won't tell you because they don't want to worry you too.

It's difficult when you can't talk to the people you want to about everything. A good friend is supposed to be able to allow that of you despite of all that they are going through, that's what friendship is all about. Hey, you never know, you share this with her and she will share with you her own fears about not being accepted yet. See you could both be thinking the same thing, ie, not wanting to rain on the others' parade!

At any rate, you're right, writing is good therapy! See how powerful a tool this is! Good luck SHE, it will all work out for you so don't worry about it. If it wasn't time for you to get into graduate school, it wouldn't have happened. It's your time now, so claim it and go and give it your all, even though it seems daunting, you would not have gotten in if you weren't worthy of the program! And as for the wonderful guy, if he feels the same way about you, he'll still be around and will be only a click away!

{now I'm keeping my fingers crossed that this gets posted, I've had such a hard time responding to anyone today!}
on Mar 11, 2007
Thanks FS. I know I could talk to my parents and to my friend, and they would probably be able to help me. Now that I'm much calmer and I've gotten some serious sleep, I will probably talk to my parents. As for my friend, we used to talk about how afraid we were that we wouldn't get into our schools. We actually had a long conversation the day before I got my letter about how we didn't know what to do with our lives if we didn't get into med/grad. school. We commiserated together. Now, I feel that I would be selfish if I told her what was going on. I can't talk about the guy, because she's never had a boyfriend. I always feel guilty when I talk about guys to her. She's never said anything to make me feel that way. She's always been a great listener, and gives good advice. I feel guilty because I'm pretty sure I know how it makes her feel.

I'm really not talking to people not because they've made me feel as though I can't talk to them, but because I assume what I say will upset them in one way or another. Plus, like I said, until I can make sure I can talk about my fears calmly, there's no sense in talking about stuff and really getting people upset.

JU has been acting strange today, hasn't it?
on Mar 11, 2007


That's great, do talk to your folks, I'm sure it won't be as bad as you think and you know that!  

I can understand about not talking to her about the guy. I remember when I was younger and my best friend had a boyfriend and I didn't, for a long time (it seemed to me at the time!) I was the third (or fifth) wheel and hated it! But they didn't mind me being around. I just was there for her at any rate. Your bff does sound like a great friend though!



JU has been acting strange today, hasn't it?


Tell me about it! So far I've been on here for more than an hour and still can't reach anywhere! Of course I was able to respond to you!   You get all my chatter today!   (No, really, I like reading you so, don't think that I wouldn't be around if I didn't have a choice!lol!)
on Mar 11, 2007
Tell me about it! So far I've been on here for more than an hour and still can't reach anywhere! Of course I was able to respond to you! You get all my chatter today! (No, really, I like reading you so, don't think that I wouldn't be around if I didn't have a choice!lol!)


Yeah, uh huh, sure. I know you're only here because you can't get anywhere else.

Actually, I'm having a hard time getting on my own site. I don't know what's going on...
on Mar 11, 2007

College is the weaning, Graduate school is the independance.  It is hard.  But if you were not going to Graduate school, and got a job in Arkansas, would it be any easier?

It is hard, but you will do well.  Of course the guy thing really sucks.  But Tennessee is not a bad place, and you will meet a lot of good people that will make it easier.  And you will be just south of my brother and sister! (not as old as this fossil, but in their 30s).  So a freindly voice is not too far away.

Best of luck!

on Mar 11, 2007
Welcome to the real world.
on Mar 11, 2007
College is the weaning, Graduate school is the independance. It is hard. But if you were not going to Graduate school, and got a job in Arkansas, would it be any easier?


Nope, it would be harder because it wouldn't be what I wanted to do.

I'm looking forward to graduate school, I really am. I think it could really be a blast. I did the same thing when I went to college -- worried about everything, got here, forced myself to get out and have fun, and I've loved it. I know I'll do the same thing in grad. school. My professors all think I'll be fine, and I trust their judgments of my abilities. *I think I can, I think I can, choo choo*

Welcome to the real world.


And here I thought I was putting that off by staying in school longer.
on Mar 12, 2007
I have some really great advice if you are going to UT-Knoxville. Go see Tall Paul! I am pretty sure he is still part of the freshmen orientation (I know you aren't a freshman - he is just that popular). I'm not sure where he plays anymore but he is usually there a couple of nights a week.

I'd say he is an old friend (cause he is) but I think he is friends with everybody. He is great for and evening filled with a couple of drinks, wonderful music and infectious happieness.

Congrats on grad school!
on Mar 12, 2007
I'll be sure to look him up. Thanks for the advice and the congrats.