The Starter Wife

Published on April 22, 2007 By Sugar High Elf In Marital Issues

No, I haven't seen the show, and this isn't a review of it. I'll probably watch it when it comes on TV, but I don't think it's started yet. Instead, I saw a preview for it, and it got me thinking.

At one point, the man who has ditched Debra Messing says to her, "I'm falling in love with you all over again." and she looks back at him and says, "You had your chance." A few shots later, she's laying in bed with a sad, yet triumphant look on her face.

Something about that face got to me. I've seen that face many times in the mirror. The "I'm sad that I got dumped / jilted, but I really am better off." But there's something else in that look. Something else that my eyes say. They say, "I'm so glad I could help you get back on your feet and help you make your life better so you could move on, fall in love with someone else and break my heart." There's anger in that statement. Lots of it.

I suppose I'm writing this because I just watched First Wives Club on TV this morning. But, seriously, to devote so much time to one person -- helping them, comforting them, being there for them -- just to be tossed aside really blows. It sucks mostly because I should have been using that time for me. I should have directed my energy towards bigger and better things. I could have solved some major world issues with the amount of time and energy I spent helping him be a better person.

And now? Now, I can also identify with Debra Messing's character when I say, "What I need is a really, good, kiss."

I'm looking forward to this show. Looks like it's going to be fun!

Comments

Zoologist03

on Apr 22, 2007

Heh, heh...want to know what really sucks? Being that smart, sweet, helpful guy when a girl is down on her luck and you pick her up and put her back on her feet again....and in return you might get a hug and a "Thank-you" but your ass is stuck in the friend zone. I could've spent that energy playing video games or sleeping...but no, I'm the chivalrous knight that can't stand by and not do anything...and with chivalry comes celibacy for some reason. Friend zone is codename for living hell, by the way...

~Zoo

Sugar High Elf

on Apr 22, 2007

Sorry Zoo. One of these days, you'll find a girl who likes the knight in shining armor. But I gotta tell you, when a girl has been in Relationship Purgatory, the guys who try to help her right afterwards often get stuck in Living Hell. You could always be direct and say, "I like you, and when you're ready, I'd like to date you." but I realize that's putting yourself pretty far out there, and that's dangerous.

Of course, you could just avoid the girls who are down on their luck, and just look for girls who are already ready for relationships. That was the lesson I learned the hard way. "If he ain't ready, he ain't worth my time." It's great to be a friend to those people and to help them out, but nix the expectations for a future together. I was in martyr mode, and that's a pretty stupid place for me to put myself.

Wow. I just realized. I was in martyr mode. Awesome! I know exactly what to avoid in the future!

Oh, and Miranda Otto is also in "The Starter Wife" which makes me even more likely to watch it. Just thought I would share that.

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